One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road-side. He ordered his driver to stop, and he got out to investigate.
'Why are you eating grass?' he asked one man.
'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied.
'Oh, well, you can come with me to my house,' instructed the lawyer.
But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me!'
'Bring them along!' replied the lawyer.
He turned to the other man and said: 'You come with us, too.'
'But I have a wife and six children,' the second man answered.
'Bring them as well' replied the lawyer.
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says: 'Sir you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.'
The lawyer replied: 'Glad to do it. You'll love my place; the grass is almost a foot tall.'
Who could it possibly be
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly checkup and when she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said that he was pleased and that she is in great shape, and happily announced that she was also one month pregnant. She told the doctor that there was no way she could be pregnant, but the doctor insisted.
Hillary stormed out of the office, went to the receptionist and asked to call the White House. When the operator answered, she explained that it was Hillary and that she needed to talk with Bill right away.
The operator rang the oval office, Bill answered and Hillary said, "I can't believe it! I'm pregnant! You got me pregnant!"
The President remained silent.
Again, Hillary screamed, "I am pregnant! You got me pregnant!"
Finally Bill answered, "Who is this?"
Box of Cigars
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined." "It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.
"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"
"Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge." Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant.
As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!"
"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them." "But, I did send them."
"What? You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously. "Yes. That's how we won the case." "I don't understand," said the lawyer.
"It's easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card."
Giveaway From Korea & Sydney
